Calamitous
by Silver Supa
Summary: Diana has some...issues with romance. But frankly, she doesn't get as worked up as people assume she does. And really, it was just a first kiss. Nothing to be concerned about. Juvenile really. How much trouble could it really be? (In which Diana has an immense amount of trouble.)
1. Good Under Pressure

(This is a sort-of sequel to another story of mine, _Inconvenient._ You don't really have to read it to get this, but if you want...)

* * *

It wasn't that Diana _disliked_ Amanda O'Neill. On the contrary, there were plenty of days Diana was content, and almost proud, to call her a friend, and as with Akko, she admired how outspoken Amanda could be about her desires and beliefs. It was a trait that Diana found to be envious. Between her duty as the sole heir to her family's estate, her duty as the descendent of one of the Nine Olde Witches, and her duty as one of the top students at Luna Nova, there was simply too many lofty expectations placed upon her shoulders for Diana to let them sag and express herself freely. It really was a wonderful privilege to be able to dictate life on your own terms and say the things you truly desired to say, and it continuously amazed her that for all her skills she might struggle to speak what's on her mind whereas Amanda could do so without a second thought, and it was that admiration that made the backbone of their friendship.

The problem, however, was that Amanda took the privilege to its logical extreme, and absolutely reveled in pushing the buttons of everyone around her simply because she found it amusing in some childish way. Before she had met Amanda, Diana hadn't even been aware she had any buttons to push. She had been called a number of things as she tried to live up to what the Cavendish name implied, and had suffered through quite a bit on her journey to where she was today. Diana had assumed that she had built up enough thick enough skin that nothing anyone could say would affect her. But of course, Amanda, gleefully abusing the power that a lack of societal responsibilities gave her, had managed to find the singular weak point in her defenses.

Namely, that Diana was very composed, confident, and in control of her emotions, when the situation did _not_ involve Akko Kagari.

Ever since she and Akko became… _significant_ to each other (as the case may be) Amanda seemed to make it her life mission to fluster Diana at every turn. And the fact that Diana was wholly unprepared to deal with this type of teasing made it all the more infuriating. It was improper to broadcast ones relationship status to the whole school, so she definitely did not appreciate her waggling her eyebrows while talking about "private tutoring sessions", or commenting that she was late to class because she was busy flirting, or telling others who were romantically interested in Akko that she already _had_ a girlfriend, or saying to her face that she thought her and Akko looked cute together, or wishing her luck on a date, or the many _other_ lewd and unnecessary comments she delighted in making.

Well, today would be the end of it. Diana had never thought of conversations as battles before, but she was nonetheless determined to win. She was much too mature to be stuttering like a fool just because Amanda brought up the fact that she was dating Akko. Today, there would be nothing Amanda could say that could get her flustered or tripping over her words.

"Oh hey, Diana." Amanda greeted her out of the blue one morning, with a friendly wave. "Haven't gotten to see you in a while. Seems like whenever I wanna hang with you, you're out making out with your girlfriend."

"W-what?!" Diana cried, flustered and tripping over her words. "That isn't-! I…I don't know _what_ you're talking about!" Had she been someone else, she might've hid her head in hands. Well, if nothing else, part of the reason her face was red was anger that she tripped right out the gate. What was it about Akko that continuously left her emotional state an absolute mess, and why did everyone seem to think it was so funny?

Case in point, Amanda just snickered at her reaction. "Settle down, Romeo." She didn't even bother to hide her smile. "I was just kidding. All I said was that you two made out. You don't need to freak out on me."

"I…I'm not 'freaking out'." Diana said, despite her flushed expression and stuttering statements arguing otherwise. "Akko and I…we're very good friends, and I don't need you assuming illicit things about our…r-relationship."

"Dude, really?" Diana bristled at Amanda's amusement. She was not a _dude_ , thank you. "You're dating. It's not-" Amanda briefly paused. "Uh, illicit or whatever."

Wanting to at least say a single thing in defense of herself, Diana glared at her. "Not…n-not that it's any of your business, but I've never done anything of the sort with Akko, so p-please! Keep your comments to yourself." She crossed her arms hoping that would be the end of-

Wait.

Why did she just admit that?

To _Amanda?_

"Wait. Never?" Amanda turned to her, raising a brow. Diana winced, realizing she'd now given her more ammunition. "You haven't even _kissed_ yet?"

"T-that is _none_ of your business, O'Neill." She repeated. Desperately, she failed to fight the blush creeping up her face. Oh, this was _not_ a topic she had any desire to talk about.

Amanda was, as ever, either oblivious or being deliberately obstinate, not letting a little something like etiquette stop her from talking about mortifying topics. "Wait, you really haven't? How have you guys _not_ kissed yet?" She asked incredulously. "You've been dating for like, a month! I heard you were bad at this, but I thought it was just exaggerating!"

"First of all, lower your voice!" Diana hushed, her eyes frantically scanning the room fearing that someone could overhear. "Second of all, w-we've only confessed twenty six days ago, and we haven't been on a formal _date_ yet, so o-obviously, it would be improper."

"What?!" Amanda looked genuinely shocked. "Yes you have! You two are together, like all the time. I never get to hang out with Akko anymore because she's always hanging all over _you_."

"Formal date, I said." Diana tried to clarify, her face growing warm as she explained. "We…we spend time together, but it's not like we've done anything like have a fancy dinner or go ballroom dancing. It…it wouldn't be right to just…rush into these things."

Amanda was unconvinced, looking down at her with a wry smile. "Were you born in the 1800s?"

"I wasn't…!" Diana stopped herself. She knew these things well enough to know that if she continued she'd end up saying something inane. "L-look, O'Neill, why do you even care?"

Amanda leaned back, closing her eyes. Diana assumed then, she was just going to drop it, for once. Her not saying anything shameful suited Diana just fine. But after a few seconds, Amanda opened one eye, and looked at her with a confident grin spreading over her cheeks. In Diana's experience, this was _never_ a good thing for her.

"I just think it's a bit hypocritical, is all." Amanda said, as forcibly innocent as she could. "You're always telling me off for making excuses, and yet…you're sittin' here talking about being proper, when you're just too scared to lock lips with your girl."

"Scared?" Diana repeated, narrowing her eyes.

Amanda just shrugged, unaffected as ever. "Scared, shy, socially awkward, take your pick."

"I'm not _scared_." Diana argued. "This…this is an important moment. I can't just rush into it." The last thing Diana wanted to do was do something that might offend Akko. She cared about her too much to risk losing her. Why was she even arguing about this? She needed to think about something else before she said something regrettable.

"You're making it a way bigger deal than it is, Diana." Amanda shook her head, and then jerked her thumb towards her chest. "I had _my_ first kiss under a slide when I was 7, and I kicked him in the shins like ten minutes later."

Diana just scoffed, not wanting to emulate any of her life experiences. Amanda's smug grin widened. "Eh, what can you do though?" Amanda shrugged. "You're all worked up just talking about it."

The heat crept up Diana's cheeks, and she was sure the smirk on Amanda's face was due to how red her face must've been.

"You'd probably short-circuit if you actually had to _do_ it."

Her fists clenched, and she chanted a mantra in her head. Don't react, don't react. It didn't matter if she was being humiliated. Diana had dealt with it before. It was better than saying something stupid that would just make Amanda laugh.

"You think with all the times you brag about how smart you are, you could do something as easy as one measly little kiss."

So maybe she _did_ have some difficulties with romantic implications. She didn't need to prove anything to anyone. And speaking while she was so out of sorts never went how she expected. Diana just needed to keep her chin up and swallow her damaged pride.

"Shame though. Bet Akko's disappointed."

And that snapped it. "Alright, fine." Diana turned angrily to the other witch, catching her off guard. "I've had enough of this conversation. You think I'm so incapable of dealing with intimacy, don't you? You must think it's so amusing to see me flustered, like I'm just some idiot who can't handle some high school romance."

She was a Cavendish for God's sake. She _thrived_ under adversity. "I'm sick of it. I didn't get where I am today by falling apart under pressure, and I'm not going to get embarrassed and dance around for your entertainment, O'Neill."

Amanda was taken aback at having the table turned on her. After a moment, she let out a sigh. "….Alright, alright." Amanda held her hands up in surrender. "I get it. Took it too far. I'm sorry I call-"

"No," Diana cut her off. "I'm not going to stand here being mocked any longer. I'm not as clueless as you think I am, nor am I too scared or socially awkward. _And_ I've been told I'm attractive."

Amanda's head whipped around, as if hoping that Diana had been talking to someone behind her. "G-good for…you?" Looking back to Diana, she tried to speak clearly. "Look, the truth is I wasn't-" Her explanation was once again interrupted by Diana's barely subdued fury, backing up as Diana intruded into her personal space.

"So if you think for a second that I'm going to get worked up over something as simple as a kiss, you have another thing coming, O'Neill." Diana stepped closer, until she was right in Amanda's face. "I _can_ kiss someone, and I _will_ kiss Akko. So you better think of some _other_ smart-mouthed comment the next time you see me, so that I can prove _that_ wrong as well."

"Uh…" Amanda just gawked at her. "O-okay?"

"So unless you have something else to say," Diana challenged. "I'll be on my way."

Emboldened by the stunned expression on O'Neill's face, Diana smirked and turned away, her hair dramatically flipping behind her. She confidently strode from the classroom, feeling a satisfying burst of vindication that carried her all the way back to her dorm room. Shooting cordial greetings to Hannah and Barbara, Diana gracefully sat at her desk and pushed all distractions from her mind, as she set about creating a plan to…

…wait.

Diana suddenly stood up, holding her head in her hands. Her pulse raced almost as fast as her breath. She blushed profusely as her mind finally caught back up with her.

What in the _hell_ did she just say she was going to do?!

* * *

"How about here, Diana?" Akko asked her, pointing to a flat patch of grass under the shade of a tall tree. "Do you think this is a good spot for it?"

"This should be perfect," Diana agreed. "Just give me one moment to set everything up." She took a few minutes to unfurl the blanket, as well as gather her nerves and prepare for the rest of her plan. She still felt skittish, not to mention vaguely nauseous and incredibly angry at allowing herself to be pressured into this, but the evening was off to a good start. Akko was clearly excited, and even better, didn't suspect a thing.

Diana may lack experience in the romantic, but that simply meant she had more to learn, and Diana was nothing if not a quick study. To be frank, her supposed anxiety regarding this topic was greatly exaggerated, as it hardly took Diana long to think of an idea to get…the… _thing_ she told Amanda she could get. From Akko. The…the kiss. That they would do. _Together_. As it were. Once she got passed her greatly exaggerated embarrassment, it took almost no time at all to get here.

The plan was beautiful in its simplicity, and it would ensure her venture to be a success. Diana had asked Akko out to an evening retreat. To be more specific, a picnic in the privacy of the quiet greenery of the woods. She'd bring a few snacks, make pleasant conversation, build up a romantic atmosphere, and by the time the night was over, she'd be confident and smooth, eventually sweeping Akko off her feet for a truly magical first kiss.

And of course, given that they had been dating for a while, it was a simplistic task to get Akko to agree to come, having only taken three hours of deliberation and four separate attempts at conversation. Suffice to say, Diana was well on her way to conquering her anxiety regarding these sorts of things, and now that the first step in the plan was done and they'd selected a nice spot off campus, the rest would be smooth sailing. It would have to be off campus after all, and the woods were more than an acceptable venue. Not only did she know Akko would appreciate the adventurousness of it, but it also keep away any unwanted distractions from others on their date. And, well, there was the fact that public displays of affection were discouraged on school grounds.

No need to go behaving irrationally, after all.

"I haven't had a picnic in a long time!" Akko turned to her, her eyes brimming with unconstrained excitement. "You got anything _special_ planned?"

"N-not really." Diana said, turning red as she considered what she was lying about. "I…I just thought we'd have a nice meal together." She opened up the small basket to reveal the food she had prepared for their date, and felt a burst of pride when Akko's eyes widened. Diana knew enough about romance to hear how the fastest way to one's heart was through the stomach.

"Aww! You made all that for us?" Much to her surprise, Akko suddenly through her arms around her in a happy embrace. "You're so nice to me, Diana!"

Diana coughed suddenly. She certainly didn't mind the attention, but it was not helping her keep a clear head when all the blood was rushing to it. Not to mention, her brain never seemed to recall what the protocol was for whenever she touched her. "R-right. Um, thank you, Akko."

Diana had spent the afternoon preparing some light snacks and some tarts for the picnic. She wasn't much of a cook, but she had volunteered around the kitchen when they were short-staffed, and her skills were decent enough. The tarts were an experiment she had tried before, back when the seven of them had held gatherings to watch Akko try to fly. They had been overly sweet for Diana's tastes, and she'd have been more than happy to throw out the recipe and begin anew had it not been for one hitch. Akko had liked them, which was of far greater importance.

After all, there were two very important tasks to be done on this informal get-together they shared. Akko needed to enjoy herself and have a good time, and Diana needed to make sure she didn't slip up and let her intentions be revealed. Kissing was very intimate and intimidating activity, so in order to ease Akko into being receptive, Diana had to keep this to her chest. Obviously, it would be inappropriate to just…ask your girlfriend for a kiss, so that was off the table. Not to mention it would be extremely embarrassing, and she had no desire to scare Akko away. Should the plan go well, however, they would both be collected enough to do this with minimal difficulty.

Plus there was the added bonus of proving that Diana did not get as worked up about romance as others assumed she did. All in all, it was a very good plan.

"…L-let's sit, Akko." Diana said, finally pulling out of the hug. "We shouldn't let this food go to waste after all."

Akko happily flopped down on the blanket as Diana took a second to straighten her skirt so she could sit on her knees properly. As soon as she sat, however, Akko scooted closer until she was practically leaning on her arm. Again, while not unwelcome, it was distracting. Especially as Akko's hand drifted closer and closer to her own.

"S-so Akko!" Diana winced as she spoke, wondering if Akko noticed how her voice just squeaked. She pulled her hand back and placed it neatly on her own lap, figuring if she _looked_ the picture of grace, then perhaps she could trick herself into ignoring her anxieties until she _was_ the picture of grace. She had but one chance to do this, and it had to be done properly. "H-how are things with you today?"

Akko furrowed her brows, and Diana was unsure if she was reacting to her voice crack or her taking her hand back. Before she could wonder, Akko quickly shook it off, returning to her typical cheerfulness. She took a sandwich from the basket and began to snack as she happily described her day to Diana.

The two talked mindlessly to each other as they ate, though admittedly, it was more Akko boisterously telling her all about every topic that popped into her head, and Diana listening as attentively as she could, her mind somewhat occupied with attempting to think several steps ahead to ensure the evening was a success. Just sitting here, talking to her…even though Akko was the subject of her plan, it still eased her nerves. Akko was always so sure of herself, and it must've been rubbing off to Diana. As the hour passed by, she felt more and more confident that tonight, she would succeed and show Akko a special time they would not forget.

Granted, her knees were shaking, her stomach felt like it was being flipped, her heart felt as though it was going to smash through her ribcage, and was almost positive that if this night did not go as planned Akko would hate her forever and she'd ruin their wonderful relationship and never be loved again, but these were just the body's natural responses, so it was probably normal.

"Whoa, you even made these little creamy dessert thingies?" Akko said, popping a tart into her mouth with a satisfied noise. "You're really such a great girlfriend!"

It was a bit of a double-edged sword, having Akko flirt with her. On the one hand, praise from Akko was of the highest caliber of praise one could receive, and she knew she'd spend several days feeling giddy as she replayed the words in her head. But on the other, it had a tendency to send her concentration on the fritz, and Diana needed her full focus on the task at hand. Diana was not some love-struck schoolgirl, and it definitely would do no one any good to act as such.

"Akko…" She mulled over words in her head. She needed to say something romantic, something to set the mood. She had no idea how to move the night forward to set themselves up for the kiss, but it would have to be meaningful and impressive, unlike anything she ever said before.

"…You have cream on your chin. Right under your mouth." Diana reprimanded herself in her head. No. Bad. That was not romantic at all. She handed Akko her handkerchief for her to clean her face, which made it marginally more of a gesture of kindness.

"O-oh, um, thanks!" Diana watched as Akko took the cloth to her mouth, her eyes drawn towards her lips. Had she put on lipstick? It was difficult to say, she had never really payed much attention to them, but now that she was staring at her lips as Akko dabbed the handkerchief around them, she wondered if she had somehow missed how pink and soft they looked. Had she not known better, she might've seen them as…inviting. Akko brought the cloth to quickly wipe at her lower lip, interrupting her observing. Diana's muscles tensed as she recalled what her goal was tonight. As Akko handed the cloth back to her, the corners upturned in a bright expression that stirred deep inside Diana. She instantly became aware of her heartbeat as it picked up and hammered inside her chest.

Diana stood suddenly, offering her hand to help her girlfriend to her own feet. "Ah…A-Akko, there's…there's something I'd like to do."

"Yeah Diana?" Akko asked her, taking her hand. She pulled herself up, and stood close enough she had to crane her neck back to look up into Diana's eyes. Diana felt her heart leap up to her throat. She almost wanted to cough, to relieve the building pressure inside her, but Akko was so close to her, so near to her mouth, all she could do was gulp. Akko spoke in a hushed voice, almost a whisper. "Um, w-what is it?"

"H-hold…still for a second." Diana murmured back, placing her hands on the shorter girl's shoulders.

Akko let out a small, excited squeal and pinched her eyes shut. She began to lean inward, getting closer and closer. Diana felt her face grow warmer and warmer. Her grip ever so slightly tightened on the shorter girl's shoulder blades. She felt them bob up and down as she breathed. Akko pursed her lips slightly, as much as she really could with the smile on her face.

They were so close now. Their faces were but inches away. Diana felt her stomach flutter as she looked down the bridge of her nose to where Akko stood, waiting, expecting. She gathered all her bravado, and pushed herself past her embarrassment and into action. There was only one thing to do.

Diana dusted off the shoulders of Akko's uniform with a few quick brushes. Akko opened her eyes.

"There." She said, taking an additional moment to straighten out her tie. Diana stepped back to get a better view of her work. "You look very presentable, Akko."

"…Thank you?"

Diana felt a burst of pride in herself. Compliments would be an excellent way to build a romantic atmosphere. This was going very well. It would only be a matter of time before Akko would be willing to...move forward. As it were. She took her seat once more, feeling much surer of herself.

She suddenly realized that Akko was still standing, not having moved since Diana had so tactfully appraised her appearance. "Akko, is everything okay?"

"…It's nothing." Akko said, somewhat hesitantly, before giving her a bright smile. "I'm just feeling impatient is all. Just do what makes you comfortable, Diana."

That was an odd statement to make, but it was nice to see Akko caring about her emotional state. Still, this night wasn't really about her. Diana would have to press the plan onward soon, and find some way to build a pleasant atmosphere. She took a sip of water to calm her nerves as she racked her mind.

"Maybe do it a little faster…" Akko muttered to herself as she sat. Diana looked up.

"What?"

"What? I didn't say anything."

Diana could've sworn she heard Akko say something, but if she said she didn't, then it must've been nothing. Either way, they were still here, enjoying a nice picnic and each other's company. It would only be a matter of time and working past a very small amount of fear to seal the deal. Diana couldn't help but smile.

This was all going according to plan.

* * *

This was not going according to plan.

It wasn't that Akko didn't _get_ Diana being nervous. This _was_ a pretty embarrassing thing to do, especially since Akko couldn't even directly ask Diana to kiss her. But Akko thought the plan she made would've helped ease Diana into this. This should've been the easy part, the _fun_ part. Just getting to this point was hard enough.

Trying to find the money for Amanda was way more difficult than it should've been, considering she had no idea where to get American currency, which wasn't even getting into the awkward conversation it took to convince Amanda to even consider goading her girlfriend into this. And now here they were; alone, on a date, she was pretty sure they were both willing, and Akko _still_ couldn't get Diana to kiss her. Why was her luck always like this? Diana was always so confident, and pretty, and nice and smart an-

Well, she was a lot of things, so Akko assumed she would be able to take the lead on this when she was too shy to do it. But it seemed like Diana choked even more than her when it came to this, and she _really_ wanted to get her first kiss tonight. Akko let a quiet sigh, trying to hide her distress from her girlfriend. How much did she respect Diana's comfort zone, and how much did she force this? Because she didn't want Diana do something that made her unhappy. At the same time, though, Akko would like her first kiss before she was, you know, an old lady.

…That was mean. Diana had some trouble with affection, but it's not like she was that bad. She could definitely muster the courage to do this tonight, couldn't she?  
…

"Mayenab Dysheebudo, Mayenab Dysheebudo…" Akko whispered to herself.

* * *

 **A.N. I said I'd write this, and I haven't lied to you guys yet as far as you know. Anyway, the last story came out of nowhere because I wanted to write something dramatic. This...is about as disgusting and far from dramatic as you'd expect a first kiss story to be, so do with that as you will. It was meant as a one shot, but I ended up splitting it into two.**

 **I'm back at school now, so I'm not sure when I'll post the rest, but I try to be timely with these. Chapter 2 is the part where we get to the actual attempts at kissing and Akko suffering bodily harm, so there's that to look forward to! Usually write a joke or fish for comments here, but I can't think of anything. Hope you enjoy regardless.**


	2. Master of Seduction

(Since some people asked about it, Mayenab Dysheebudo is one of the Seven Words from the show. I don't know if it's any actual language, but Ursula translates it as essentially "Patience is Key." So that was my very funny joke I wrote. Here's Chapter 2 of whatever this is.)

* * *

Akko had been somewhat quiet for the better part of a half-hour. She hadn't totally stopped talking, but compared to her usual boisterousness it struck Diana as strange how frequently they paused. She did her best to keep the conversation alive, filling Akko in with details of her own day (minus several key pieces of information, of course), and Akko's eyes still occasionally lit up as she did so, so there couldn't have been _too_ much cause for concern. A hope sprung up in Diana that Akko was simply taking in the atmosphere she was trying to create, but that was hardly typical of her.

Still, Akko had the tendency to defy her expectations and challenge everything she thought she knew about herself. For most of her life, Diana dismissed the idea of falling in love and such nonsense. She was much too busy with her own responsibilities to consider devoting extra time to some third party, so everyone perpetuating the concept of meeting that someone who made her fall head over heels simply made her roll her eyes. Diana was, by her own admission, a perfectionist. Love, while surely pleasant as so many people were so eager to engage in it, was messy, chaotic, and seemed to leave people acting like fools. It was a far cry from the organized and disciplined world Diana preferred to live in, and certainly not an emotion she would enjoy partaking in.

And yet.

Akko was currently chewing on one of her tarts. She had, of course, made them especially for her, so there was no shortage of gratification at seeing them be enjoyed. Despite the caveat of Akko's uncharacteristic withdrawnness, this date of theirs was going quite well. Perhaps one day, Diana might even be able to consider herself on expert on the topic of romance, as she liked to believe she was on track to becoming with several others. If she could turn her opinion around on love, then soon others would surely turn their own opinions around on her and her supposed inability to deal with it. She looked up at the sunset through the leaves of the tree they sat under.

"Did I already say that you picked a nice spot, Akko? Because this really is lovely." Mostly, she was just attempting to make conversation as she slowly gathered her courage. She had to be in tip-top shape for the end of this evening. "Just you and I, away from everyone else." No one to try and get under her skin, or drop unwanted implications, or make a big deal out of whose heart was connected to whose. Just the two of them, without any big productions or mortifying circumstances.

"…yeah." Akko smiled, but Diana couldn't help but feel it was…somehow strained. "Thanks, Diana."

That was worrisome. She had been hoping that subtly pointing out how they were alone together might've been romantic, especially since it had taken her a while to work up the nerve to bring up the implication, but Akko barely seemed to acknowledge it. Well, all that meant was Diana had to do better. She began to ponder a way to move the plan forward, when after a few minutes, she was pulled from her thoughts once more.

"Hey…" Akko had reached over and softly laid her hand on Diana's upper arm. "You know I like you, right?"

She almost jumped, between the gentle touch and the impromptu confession. "O-okay. T-that's g-good to he-" She cleared her throat, hoping she wasn't blushing as much as she thought she was. "That's good to hear. W-what brought this on?"

Akko's brows furrowed. "It just sorta seems like something's bothering you." Diana suppressed a shudder. Akko's hand had begun rubbing her arm, and she wasn't even sure if she realized she was doing it. "So um, if anything's wrong with you…?"

She just waved off the concern. "D-don't be silly, Akko. Everything is…" Well, admittedly, not fine. Akko was acting strange and Diana couldn't really think of much else but how she was touching her arm, but Akko didn't need to be burdened with her distresses. "Everything is as it should be." Akko didn't look completely convinced, but nodded and turned away.

As she did so, her arm dropped, and made a motion to rest her own hand on top of hers, and Diana, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks and the tingling in her skin, quietly put her hand in her lap, hoping Akko hadn't noticed. As pleasant as it was to simply let her composure slip and enjoy the contact, it was not a luxury she could afford now.

This had to be perfect. Not just because Diana had something to prove or because Akko really _did_ deserve a perfect time, but Diana was acutely aware of her own faults, and there would be no way she could handle doing something so intimate with someone she cared about if it were not so.

She thought of the years she had spent trying to be the kind of woman who command respect, yet as soon as the matters of the heart came up she fell apart like a little girl. It was infuriating. And the only cure for it that Diana could see was to take the raw frustration and channel it into a drive to do consistently better than her best. She remembered the strange looks and jeers she had received as a child, struggling to practice something as outdated as witchcraft. She had learned to work past it and became a veritable prodigy at Luna Nova.

Somehow, the light-hearted teasing and the knowing looks and everyone loved to give her as she tripped over her words because her mind got caught on the fact that she was dating someone like Akko was even more offensive than all of those that came before. It was a step backward, an insulting return into awkwardness and inelegance that she thought she had already conquered. She had to find a way to put an end to it, and consequently, she had to find a way to make sure the ever-important plan did not fail.

"You're enjoying yourself, right?" Diana asked her. It was a bit on the nose, admittedly, to outright question her on her progress in building a romantic atmosphere, but still, she was somewhat concerned with Akko's lack of engagement. The concern only grew when Akko didn't respond right away.

"C-can I ask you something, Diana?" The witch in question could do little to hide her surprise. Akko's tone was almost always animated and excited, but she was speaking slow and hesitant now, and she was looking more at the ground than at Diana.

"Of course, Akko." She said immediately. "What's the matter?"

"You're not-" Akko paused to bite her lip. Something was clearly troubling her. Diana sat up straight, making it clear she had her full attention. If something was going awry, she had to fix it. Akko didn't look as placated by her attentiveness as she had hoped, still averting her eye line, and Diana could only study her forlorn expression until she finally spoke.

"You're not…embarrassed by me, are you?"

"What?" Diana could barely find her voice. The question ran through her mind again and again, hoping that she had heard incorrectly, hoping that Akko had misspoken, but she remained silent, awaiting an answer. "Akko, I…why would even _think_ that?"

Akko hugged her knees to her chest, looking very small. Diana felt her chest tighten. "It's just that…" Akko shrugged. "I don't know. You always say we're good friends instead girlfriends. You get really embarrassed when I try to do romantic stuff in public. And now we're alone, and I'm trying to hold your hand, and you're being kinda…"

Akko trailed off, unable to find the word. She looked up to meet Diana's gaze. All Diana could see was the genuine worry written in her eyes. "So I mean…I-I get it, if you're ashamed to be seen with me, b-but I just wanna know."

Diana's heart shattered. She hadn't even considered that Akko had noticed her actions, but to think she had interpreted her difficulty dealing with affection as a lack of it…She had been hurting her feelings this entire time she had been trying to create a perfect night.

"Akko, no." She answered without hesitation. "That's not true at all. I am not ashamed of you. I could _never_ be ashamed to be seen with you." She worked to keep her voice level. How in the world did she mess this up so badly? "I'm so sorry that I made you think that, but I promise you, it's not true."

Akko's brows raised, but the troubled expression only barely faltered. "You really do care about me?"

"Akko…" Diana sighed sadly. To even hear Akko ask that was painful. "Of course I do. I care about you, more than anyone else. You're the most amazing, wonderful person I have ever met. Please, don't ever doubt yourself."

Akko scratched her head nervously. "It…it really means a lot to hear you say that." She said. "I'm not trying to be mean, I was just worried…I wanna make sure you really wanna be with me."

Diana's voice started to shake, and she could only hope it wasn't betraying the sincerity of her words. "I…I do. Yes. I want to b-be with you." Her hand ran through her hair, angry at herself for the lack of conviction in her voice. "I'm…I'm not good at showing it, I know."

Akko tilted her head, and her sadness appeared to have been replaced by a lack of understanding. "Why are you so embarrassed then? I like you and you like me. So why is it so hard for you when I do that stuff?"

Diana's fingers tightened their grip on her hair, struggling to find the words. "I…I _do_ get embarrassed when you do those things, but it's not because of you. This whole d-dating thing, it's new for me. I'm just…" Trying not to make a fool of myself in front of everyone. Trying to deal with a whole slew of emotions I never encountered before. Trying not to disappoint the one person whose opinion matters most. "…trying not to make a mistake."

It felt like a stupid thing to say, considering what it was Akko was asking her. Evidently, she had already failed somewhere along the line. Admitting her shortcomings was shameful enough, but having to do so to the girl she was trying to impress was almost humiliating. "I'm not…as experienced with all this as I'd like to be. The fault is mine, not yours."

When she met Akko's eyes once more, and saw the reassured smile decorating her face, she couldn't quell the blast of relief that consumed her. "You shouldn't worry about it so much. I get embarrassed in public all the time." Akko cheerfully added, "You just have to get used to it, is all!"

"…Right." It was difficult to agree with her, considering her intention had been to make sure she _wasn't_ embarrassed in public anymore. But regardless of that detail, Diana needed to assuage Akko's doubts. Already the date had gone off the rails, but maybe now that they were being brutally honest with each other, Diana could get things back on track and make sure she was having a good time. "Look, Akko. I really am telling you the truth. Don't…please don't doubt that."

"I didn't wanna make it seem like I didn't trust you, Diana." Akko told her. "I was just sorta worried I did something wrong. Like I said, I mess up a _lot_ , so…you know."

"And you haven't. I promise you." Diana smiled, trying to find the same brightness that seemed to come so easily to the girl in front of her. "Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

Akko seemed to think it over before nervously scratching her ear. Diana could only hope she believed her when she said she cared. She would do whatever it took to prove it. "There _is_ …um, one thing!" She said, the pitch in her voice raising. "One thing you c-could do that would help!"

"Yes?" She listened eagerly for anything she could do to mend the situation.

"Well…you _could_ …um. K-kiss me? Maybe?"

"…w-what?"

 _What?_ Did she just ask her to…to actually go ahead and…did Akko know about her plan? But how? Diana had been well composed this entire evening. Relatively. Either way, she knew for a fact she hadn't yet hinted at…

It suddenly became a frivolous thing to worry about, as Akko scooted closer, right into her personal space. Diana might've shrunk back, had she not been so affected by their previous conversation, and being caught off guard the small, inconsequential detail of being asked point blank to actually rush right into actually _doing this._ She could only stare as Akko, with a slight rosy tinge of pink on her cheeks, neared.

Akko seemed to finally notice the wide-eyed shock on Diana's face, and stopped in her tracks. "I-I mean, if that's okay with you?" She asked, in a hushed voice. "That's fine, right?"

"…O-of c-course." That was a lie. Oh God, she was _not_ ready for this yet. She hadn't even been close. The plan was to use the time to mentally prepare herself, and now the moment was being thrust upon her long before she could psyche herself up for it. Akko was closing her eyes and _leaning in_ , with the intention of actually _making lip contact_. With _her_. Together. Diana couldn't even find the nerve to do much else but gawk as Akko closed her eyes, let alone actually accept the invitation and do… _this_. So soon.

Not to mention, she had no idea what to do with her hands. Did she hug her? Touch her face? Hold her shoulders? _Her_ hands? Akko's hands were folded behind her back, should _she_ do that? She had no idea what the protocol was, and she was rapidly running out of time.

With a great deal of effort, she pushed the panic from her mind. She wasn't nearly as prepared as she had hoped she would be, but the time for worrying had long since passed and she could only hope she could compose herself as everything rushed to meet her. She was definitely not at _all_ ready for this, but she needed to do it anyway, before Akko got the wrong idea about her true feelings. She _did_ want to do this. She definitely was being honest when she said she cared about her. But this was also a massive leap forward, and she had one chance to do this and make sure it went perfectly. She already felt guilty enough.

Her hands, incidentally, merely clenched on the brim on her skirt for the sake of having something to hold onto.

She closed her eyes, tightly, too embarrassed to look at her proper. It was too intense, to look down and see Akko right there. To see her waiting and think about what it was she was expecting. Her heartbeat hammered against her chest, and her lips quivered. It was now or never, and it was what Akko wanted, right? This is why they were here. Her body betrayed her, and she was frozen in place. She blindly willed herself to force her head forward to meet Akko's lips halfway through.

Her forehead proceeded to slam right into the bridge of Akko's nose.

* * *

 **A.N. No it doesn't end like that, I split up the chapter again. Part of the reason I keep splitting this up is because I know I can be really long-winded, and I don't wanna post a massive block of text that's hard to read, but I like writing on character emotions, and I guess for whatever reason some of you guys like it too, so…I guess being indecisive but having it more legible is the lesser of two evils. Good news is it was sort of a last-minute change, so the next chapter is next to finished already.**


	3. Well, She'll Get There, Eventually

It took her mind longer than usual to register an emotional response, watching Akko recoil, clasping where she had just been struck. In the span of a second, she went from staring blankly to being utterly horrified.

"Guh! My dose!"

"Agh! Akko! Oh my god! I-I'm so sorry!"

"Doh, i-ids awright! D'Im okay, I dink."

"I'm so sorry! L-let me look at it, please!"

Diana quickly removed Akko's hand and inspected where she had accidently hit her. (And Oh God she just headbutted her date! Bad!) Fortunately, it didn't look nearly as awful as her panicking mind told her it must be. There was only a small purple bruise forming, and there didn't seem to be any bleeding (And what kind of date even _involved_ _blood_ oh no this was so bad!) so the only thing Akko would have to concern herself with was the initial pain (She hurt her! She _hurt_ Akko! What in the world was _wrong_ with her she just screwed up everything and now-!)

Akko sniffed, forcing her back into reality. "Diana. I said I'm _alright._ " She took her hand from her face to rub Diana's arm, and offered a reassuring smile. "This isn't even the most painful thing to happen to me this week."

"R-regardless!" Diana whipped out her wand. It was, most likely, something of an overreaction to use a healing spell. They were designed to repair physical injuries to the body, and only numbed pain to a minor degree. But nonetheless, it was the only thing she could do to even _begin_ to improve this disaster. "I am _so_ sorry, I didn't…I just…I don't know what happened."

Akko stared cross-eyed as magic flowed from the tip of her wand and rested on the bruise. Diana, thanks in no small part to a great deal of practice with performing incantations under pressure, pushed the frantic thoughts from her mind, put all her concentration into the spell, and watched as the blemish's color faded until it disappeared into her skin tone entirely, as though the impact had never happened. The visible part of the injury was gone, for as admittedly little as it was, and judging by the wonderment on the other girl's face, Diana could only hope any actual pain went with it.

"Heh." Akko sniffed her nose experimentally. "Healing magic feels really weird."

"Does it feel better at least?" Her thoughts, no longer occupied trying to ramble out an apology, raced to think of an additional solution. She could conjure some ice, place that on the injury. She didn't have a bag or a pack for it though. Would the nurse's office still be open? No, of course it would be, it was available 24 hours a day, there was no need to be oblivious. She could take Akko back, get an ice pack there, maybe some aspirin or a similar remedy. Would that even help?

"Doesn't even hurt!" Akko tapped where the bruise had been to make her point. "And it was just a little bump anyway. Don't worry about it, okay?"

She could only meekly nod, and she turned away, absent-mindedly inspecting her wand to distract herself. They sat in an awkward silence, and the first thought into her mind was that the mood was irrevocably ruined. Diana might've scoffed had she been less chagrinned. That wasn't true. It was abundantly clear there hadn't been a 'mood' in the first place.

Akko was unpredictable. Never had Diana met someone who defied her expectations at every turn, and every time she thought she understood her, Akko did something unbelievable to take her breath away. Diana loved that about her. She loved how consistently amazing and surprising she was. But at the same time…just this once, it would've been nice if the night had gone how she planned. It certainly wasn't Akko's fault that Diana seemed to be incapable of planning something as simple as this. Whenever they were together, she couldn't keep her wits about her and flailed in anxious panic, and could do nothing to keep her cool. All she wanted to do was look her best in front of the person who mattered to her most, and there was no telling what she would say to her now that she had failed so spectacularly.

"I liked the dessert thingies."

Diana looked up at the sudden statement, to see Akko smiling at her. "What?"

"The dessert thingies you made." she repeated. "I thought they were really good."

"The…the tarts?"

Akko nodded, reaching into the basket. "I saved one, it didn't look like you got any." She pulled out the tart, outstretching her hand in an offering to a puzzled Diana. She motioned for her to take it, with a hopeful gleam in her eye. "Here!"

"Oh." She made no effort to take it. It was a kind deed, but Diana had never intended to have any herself in the first place. Besides that, it wasn't like she was in the mood to eat anyway. "Thank you, but…it's fine, you can have it. I don't really care for them."

Akko tilted her head. "Why'd you make a dessert you didn't like?"

"…Because _you_ liked them." Diana admitted. "I…thought you'd appreciate the gesture."

Akko only stared at her, the confusion written plain on her face. Biting back an unbecoming sigh, Diana returned to inspecting her wand. "Well…I…had been trying to make sure you enjoyed yourself. I planned out this night to make it as special as I could, and you've said in the past you enjoyed those, so…I went to the kitchen and prepared some just for this."

"You did all that for me?" Akko sounded touched, but Diana found whatever warm feeling it filled her with was quickly overpowered by the sense of failure.

Diana dismissed her efforts, saying, "It was hardly that much. They're just little sweets. But…I wanted this night to be perfect." Bitterly, she added, "Clearly, I've ruined it."

Akko studied her for a long moment, and Diana tried not to falter under her gaze. "It's not _totally_ ruined." She finally said. "I mean, yeah, some things went wrong, but I'm still here, so you can, um…y-you can try again."

"I don't…" Diana glanced back up, her brows furrowed. " _Again?_ "

"You know…with the…" She cleared her throat as she looked away, and pointed to her mouth. "T-that."

As Diana realized what she was asking, her sobering humiliation was quickly replaced with manic hysteria. "T-that!" She managed to squeak out. "I-I see. We…I, erm…w-we…can…" Akko reached over, taking her hands, in an attempt to set her at ease. It had the opposite effect, and Diana struggled to keep herself from shaking.

"O-o-okay. This…this is fine, right?" She stammered out. "You…you still want me to do this?"

" _Yes_ , Diana." Akko smirked at her. "I still wanna do this."

"E-even after I-?" She cleared her throat, not yet beside herself enough to admit her mistake out loud. If she could maintain any appearance of dignity, she had to take it. "O-okay. Y-you're sure, right? You don't mind me trying again?"

"I said you should. Don't worry!"

"I-I know, I just…I-I'm going to…and y-you absolutely are fine, right?" Akko's smile dropped, and she squinted at her.

"…Diana, do you just want _me_ to do this, beca-"

"No!" She said quickly, cutting the other girl off. "I can do this, Akko. I assure you, I can do this." Her pride would not allow her to fail any more this night. She did not get to where she was today by falling apart. She was a Cavendish. She needed to be a Cavendish _now_ , and this panicking was unacceptable. "I can do this…" She murmured, more to herself than to the girl in front of her. Diana was sure her face couldn't get any warmer.

"Just, uh…" Akko whispered to her. "Be more gentle this time, okay?"

No, she was mistaken. _Now_ her face couldn't get any warmer.

Diana didn't respond, and it certainly wasn't like she could form a coherent sentence right now. Taking a deep breath in and out, Diana closed her eyes once more, and puckered her lips. Her heart was racing, but she couldn't let nervousness get the better of her again. Taking care to lean forward much more softly this time, she closed the gap inch by inch until finally, Diana felt her lips make contact. She could feel Akko flinch beneath her.

She…she was doing it. She was actually kissing-! She was doing it this time!

Diana noted the texture of Akko's lips had not been what she had expecting. There was an odd motion to them, like a feeling of fluttering, as though they were moving away. Diana hadn't really payed much prior attention to how kisses were described, but she knew enough to hear words like "warm" and "soft." This kiss was sort of…squishy. And a little wet. There wasn't much pressure on Akko's part either. And she swore she just felt a peculiar prickly sensation on her mouth, almost like hair, but that didn't make sense.

After a few seconds, Diana pulled back and opened her eyes, feeling a little lightheaded. Well… it hadn't fit her expectations, but there could be no denying that she had just kissed her. It hadn't been the perfect moment she wanted it to be, but she had done it. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she _could_ be dignified when it came to these things. "I, erm…wow." She said breathlessly. "T-that was very…very different. I-it was nice though."

Looking over to gauge Akko's reaction, she seemed to be…winking at her? No, that wasn't it. She was blinking her left eye over and over. Diana wasn't sure what to make of that. "You look strange. Is everything okay? Did I not do it properly or…?"

The corners of Akko's mouth upturned sheepishly. "You, uh…kissed my eyelid."

"Oh." Diana said flatly. "I see...a-are you alright?"

"Y-yeah, I'm good."

Diana nodded. "…Good."

Diana shrunk back, away from Akko and into an angry loathing. Why was this so difficult for her? How did couples do this all the time? Diana had seen people kiss before, and sometimes it looked like they were doing it unconsciously. It must've been due to practice, because it never appeared nearly as dangerous as this night was turning out.

But no, more likely was that the fault lied with her. Other people could probably kiss their loved ones with no issue because they at least had enough self-control to keep their head about them, something Diana had demonstrated repeatedly she simply could not do, no matter how hard she tried or how much she hated that she behaved so stupidly when it came to these things. No matter how much she wished differently, it was too difficult for her to fight her instincts and express herself like everyone else could. It was time for her to face the facts, and admit that the one of them she had hoped to prove was false couldn't be closer to the truth.

Amanda was right. She really couldn't do this. The plan she had thought was so smart had blown up in her face. Her two attempts at proving herself merely proved laughable. All her effort to be romantic had been for not, to the point where Akko even questioned if she actually cared at all. Diana certainly wasn't the one who should be ashamed to be seen with the other. Her mind drifted back to the end of the conversation, to what Amanda had said that truly provoked her in the first place. With a long, inaudible sigh, she could only manage to glance in Akko's direction.

Diana spoke low and defeated. "I'm sorry I disappointed you."

"What do you mean?" Akko asked, oblivious to her distress. "I mean, kissing my eye was _weird,_ but I said I'm fine. It's no big deal."

"Not that." Diana shook her head. "…well, actually, yes that. And everything else. You wanted me to do this, and I didn't want to let you down, but I just…keep falling apart. I wanted to prove I could handle this, but..."

She wondered if Akko would join Amanda and everyone else in reveling how inept she was when it came to romance, and it struck her that rambling to her would hardly make her look any more respectable. "I'm sorry. I know how bad this looks. Believe me, I tried to do the best I can, but I can't…I can't just express myself like you can."

The humiliation was too strong for her to glance up and gauge Akko's reaction, so instead, she sat silently, awaiting her scrutiny. "…Well, I admit, I always thought you'd be a lot more confident." Akko said, hesitantly, trying her best to spare Diana's feelings. "You're really good at everything, so it's a little weird to think you'd have trouble with this."

Akko continued before she had much of a chance to let the words impact her. "It's just…I'm sorta wigged out too." Diana looked up in surprise. "I was hoping you were gonna take the lead because I don't have a _clue_ what to do here."

"You don't have a clue?" She asked, disbelievingly. "But…you've been much more composed than me this entire night." It was hardly a high bar to cross, but Diana still resented how incompetent she must've looked in front of her girlfriend.

Akko shrugged, grinning. "Like I said. I mess up so much I guess I'm just used to it by now. It's okay even if you're not the best at this. I still like you and I'm still glad I got to spend time with you."

She looked up, more desperately than she liked to admit. "But…I don't want you to think I don't like you." She pleaded. "You're important to me, you really are, and I-!"

Akko held her hand up, cutting her off. "I get it, Diana. You don't have to do this tonight if it's making you feel bad. If you're not ready…then we can just wait." Her expression brightened, gentle and placating. "We can try again some other time."

"Akko…" Initially, she felt touched by the kindness. She was giving her an out. She was willing to spare her all this grief and emotional degradation, and Diana couldn't help but feel hopeful. Perhaps it may have been better had the night never happened at all, but at least she had made it clear their feelings were mutual. That could be enough. She could find another way to show how much she cared that didn't involve her making a fool of herself, go back to being able to stand with the slightest degree of respect. She could learn to work past her own insecurities some other day and re-earn her reputation. Out of the goodness of her heart, Akko was willing to let her get out of all this embarrassment.

But whatever sweet feeling it filled her with turned bitter when she registered the feeling hidden behind her kind words. She knew Akko more than well enough she'd never speak so lowly of her, but it did little to stop Diana from thinking of her leaving with nothing to show for it but private regrets. Akko had wanted this all along, and she was giving it up for the sake of _her_ emotional distress.

What would Akko think of her, after tonight? Diana had been blindsided by Akko's earlier anxieties, so she had no way of telling what could go through her girlfriend's mind except what her fears told her. She watched Akko turn away and began to toss things into the basket, with the apparent intention of packing up and leaving. Suddenly, watching her prepare to end the date on this note, the idea of disappointing her felt all the more crushingly tangible than it ever had been.

"…Wait." Diana moved, so that she was kneeling right in front of where Akko sat.

"D-Diana?"

It wasn't just for spiting Amanda, or for her own pride anymore. No matter how foolish she was when it came to affection, she would not let Akko doubt hers. She suppressed her instincts, her every thought that told her this was a poor decision, told her she'd look like an idiot again, told her she'd be made fun of and mocked once more. Right now, the only thing that truly mattered was making sure Akko knew how she felt, knew how deeply Diana cared for her. She didn't _get_ love. She didn't understand how to deal with it or how to talk about it. But she understood how she felt about Akko Kagari.

"Please." She whispered, unsure who it was directed at. She spoke, relatively, more clearly to the girl in front of her. "L-look. Just…h-hold on, for one second. I know…I know the moment has passed. I know I've messed up this entire ordeal, and I know you said you were okay with it, but…l-let me just…"

She still couldn't bring herself to say the words, but despite that additional failing of hers, Akko finally seemed to catch on to what she was doing, and turned a bright red. "I-if you don't wanna do this, y-you don't have to."

"I…it's what you want." Diana took a deep calming breath that did little to help. "So I want to."

Right now, no matter how disgraceful and pathetic it would end up being, she could do nothing else until she showed Akko how much she loved her.

She watched Akko swallow and pinch her eyes shut. She sat still, all but forcing her to take the lead. Diana leaned forward. Unwilling to let her last attempt turn out like her previous ones, she had decided not to close her eyes until she was sure she was on track to Akko's mouth and not any other part of her body. Her brain once again seemed to go haywire. She was close enough to count the individual lashes on Akko's closed eyes. And she still didn't know where to put her hands. Akko's earlier offer hadn't been retracted, and she could still back out, stop herself now before her girlfriend's opinion of her lessened even more.

The temptation was there, but ignored. It was no longer important. Carefully and gingerly, she drew closer, and with every inch she gained her anxiety grew more and more. Akko's lips were pursed, and it would be better that she be disappointed because she did this poorly than because she was too nerve-racked to do it at all. The lone thought was the driving force keeping her moving forward.

She was close enough that everything in her vision began to blur, and she finally closed her eyes, hoping as the gap between them grew shorter and shorter, that no matter what happened next, even if Akko would leave thinking less of her, she could at least prove this much to her.

She wasn't even sure what she was doing until she felt an opposing pressure against her lips. Time seemed to stop, and Diana lost focus on all sensations but the force pressing back on her. It wasn't very strong. It was…gentle. Soft. Sort of warm. Her mind was caught on how pleasant it felt pressed against her, and then her breath hitched as it quantified what exactly the pressure was.

She struggled not to shake or do anything else that might ruin this night further. The encompassing sense of shame was still somewhere in her mind, but she had lost track of it. Everything was being overshadowed by the euphoria consuming her. God knows she had no idea if she was even doing this half-decently, or even if she had truly managed to land on her lips, but she could hardly keep her heart from bursting at the seams. She could feel Akko pressing back on her, and the mere thought of that was large enough to occupy her consciousness. But the actual sensation of feeling it, knowing she actually right there, was actually doing this, was simply too immense to allow room in her being for anything else.

Whether it was so powerful because of her own emotional constipation, or because kissing was just a really good deal that did this to people was very hard to say.

Diana's focus was far too long gone to tell how much time had actually passed, but considering the burning in her throat demanding her to take in air, which she definitely knew she hadn't done since before they started, it couldn't have been terribly long. As soon as the pressure on Akko's side lightened, she pulled away as well. As their lips parted, and Diana sucked in quick breaths, she was too overcome to look at Akko directly. She could feel her mind racing, but could hardly identify a single coherent thought rushing by. She stared at the ground ignoring the fire in her cheeks.

Diana gasped out a question. "T-that was right, right?" She shook her head, wincing at the wording. "I-I mean, I actually d-did it properly, right? I…didn't hit anything else."

"Oh my god…" She heard Akko giggle hoarsely. "You got it Diana!"

Hit by a cool wave of relief, she found enough willpower to direct herself to look at Akko. Her face was flushed, and she too seemed to find a sudden interest in staring at her own two feet as opposed to the girl she had just kissed. It was satisfying to think she hadn't been as alone in her bashfulness after all. "Was…w-was it good?"

There was a swell in her chest as Akko tensed and the red hue on her face grew more saturated. Diana bit her lower lip, afraid to hear how poorly she must've done. After a moment, Akko looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Well…it was nicer than the one on my eye."

Diana gawked at her. She was joking, at her expense. Maybe she should've felt embarrassed by it. Maybe a little ashamed or offended. She had put her pride on the line and went through all that turmoil just to be made fun of. She had put everything she had into making this right just to be teased once more, as though nothing had changed.

She snorted. And then, couldn't stop herself as she fell back giggling like a madman. She held her hand in front of her mouth, unable to quiet her laughter as it grew louder and louder. She barely noticed Akko getting infected too, cracking up at either her or her own remark but it made little difference. She barely noticed her head missing the blanket and instead falling to rest in the grass and dirt, too beside herself to do anything but let herself laugh until her breath turned short.

She was covering her eyes with her hand, and it felt like a hundred different emotions were rapidly cycling through her. It took some effort to catch her breath. "Nothing ever goes how I expect with you, Akko…"

She felt Akko's finger poke into her arm. "It's my bad luck." She teased, the happiness clear from her voice alone. "Now you got my germs on you, you definitely got it too."

She removed her hand, and gazed into Akko's lovely eyes as they watched over her. "I…might need your help then, since you're so used to it."

"Of course!" Akko's face brightened, and Diana still found herself amazed at how naturally she could bounce back from setbacks and beam as though it never happened. "You're stuck with me now!"

Unable to keep the grin from warming her features, Diana simply laid and looked at the night sky as starlight filtered through the tree tops. Akko really had picked a nice spot. The two merely rested in another bout of silence, one that was much more comforting than the ones before, until after a moment, Akko's expression dropped as a realization dawned on her.

"…Oh shoot." she groaned. "It's past curfew. I'm gonna get yelled at."

Diana barely consciously thought the words as they left her. "Don't worry about it. I'll cover for you. I've certainly earned enough favors from the professors."

Akko sat up, her brows raised high on her head. "Really? You're okay with me just breaking the rules like that?"

Diana was almost as taken back by her words as she was. She could only shrug, smiling helplessly at Akko. "I suppose there's no need to be proper _all_ the time."

* * *

As would be typical, Akko did indeed get scolded by a professor when Diana walked her back to her room, but Diana simply said Akko had been assisting her with a task, one she didn't bother to specify, and they both had been let off with a warning. She didn't really remember much else, and couldn't recall how exactly she and Akko said their goodbyes and parted for the night. It was all a bit of a blur. All Diana knew is she went to bed feeling lightheaded, more than a little drained, but nevertheless satisfied.

When she awoke in the morning, her first thought was a burning desire to have another… _discussion_ with Amanda O'Neill about her habits. She had instigated this whole thing, not to mention a growing list of other emotionally compromised moments in her life, and it was high time for her to pay her reparation. Before that, however, she dealt with her second thought, a vivid recounting of her actions the previous night. After taking a half hour to pause, remove the pillow from beneath her head and bury her reddening face in it, she finally got up, got dressed, and left the room with purpose in her steps.

Granted, she had accepted certain flaws about herself last night, and privately admitted O'Neill had a point, but doing this would at least help her feel a bit more like normal, and it was hardly like O'Neill was a saint anyway. She had managed to make it all the way to O'Neill's room when Akko had caught her in the act, and once she pieced together what she was doing, began to try and defend her friend from punishment.

"I just don't think Amanda did anything too wrong, though," Akko argued with her. "I mean, it all worked out, right?"

Diana was unconvinced. "That girl has done plenty wrong, and I'm quite tired of her attempts to rile me up."

"I-it was just some teasing! We don't need to overreact or anything!"

"I'm not overacting." Diana bristled. "Her behavior is unbecoming of a witch, and it's borderline bullying otherwise."

Akko had a pensive look, clearly weighing her words. "Well…there's no need to be proper all the time, right?"

Diana blinked, then groaned. "You're _really_ going to use my words against me?"

"C'mon, Diana! Please? For me?" Akko made a point of batting her eyelashes. Diana couldn't just give up whenever faced with a sad look. She wasn't going to cave just because Akko looked so miserable at her.

Oh, she was kidding herself. Once again annoyed at her lack of willpower when it came to matters with her girlfriend, Diana crossed her arms. "This better not become a reoccurring trend…"

"Thank you! And it won't, I promise!" Much to her surprise, Akko threw her arms around her shoulders in a tight embrace. "Besides, all she did was try and tell you to kiss me, and you did it! So who cares what she said, when everyone won in the end?"

Diana made a vague, affirmative noise, fighting off a blush at the close proximity. She considered that it might be nice to return the hug if she could just get her arms uncrossed, when a thought struck her. "Wait, how did you know what she said?" Diana turned her head downward to face her as she asked the question when Akko suddenl-

…

…

Wh-

…

Eh-

…

* * *

"So who cares what she said, when everyone won in the end?"

"Wait, how did you know what she said?"

Amanda grumbled underneath her covers, doing what she could to tune out the argument right outside her door. It was _Sunday_. There was literally _no_ reason to be awake before noon on a Sunday, but her two current least-favorite people didn't seem to know that when they decided to start having a loud, stupid conversation outside of her room. Not only that, but about _her_ too, which made it even more impossible to sleep through.

Mercifully, the back-and-forth had stopped, but she didn't hear either of them make an effort to leave, and in fact, one of the voices kept going. "Aw, don't worry about that Diana! It's no big deal!"

"…Diana? Are you okay, or…?"

"W-what was _that,_ Akko?!"

"Augh! Wh-why are you mad?"

Oh come _on_ , now they were yelling at each other. Amanda sat up just enough to glare at the door, angry it wasn't doing enough to block out the voices. Stupid door. Stupid girls. Just _go away_ , already. Go have your big stupid fight in front of your _own_ rooms.

"Y-you can't just-! You can't just _do_ that!"

"I-I mean, we already kissed _once,_ so what's the problem?"

"That doesn't mean you can-! Right in the middle of the hallway! T-that's completely inappropriate!"

"What happened to not being embarrassed by me?"

"N-no! Oh no! Don't you turn this around on _me!_ What happened to waiting until I was ready?!"

Growling, Amanda pulled the pillow tighter over her ears, irritated that she couldn't make people shut up through willpower alone. It was way the hell too early for this. Why did she ever feel bad about teasing the two if they were gonna go and pull this nonsense when people were trying to actually sleep?

This was _not_ worth ten bucks.

* * *

 **A.N.** **Wanted to post this yesterday, but ended up making some changes to the climax to give it a bit more...meaning I guess. I can't write fluff without it being a whole production, clearly.** **I'm glad you found the headbutting thing funny! It's less funny in real life, but I'm not gonna say which side I was on! This is the most backstory you'll get out of me.**

 **Anyway, Diana may be the one making mistakes, but Akko still can't catch a break, can she?** **Thank god it's only three chapters. Lord only knows what would happen to the girl if we went on.**

 **I dunno what else to say, so here's where I thank you for reading and leaving nice comments! Thank you for reading and leaving nice comments!**


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